Staying in myself when the world feels loud (Yes, we can.)

Confession: I keep finding myself going out of myself.
…But what I really need is to stay in myself and make clear choices from that present place.

Over the years, I’ve noticed something in my psyche (and in the warm-hearted women drawn to my work) that I want to share with you:

When external storms are raging, it becomes both more difficult and more essential to carve out time for what truly sustains us.

This is because even when she deeply senses the need for nourishment—whether it’s Morning Pages, meditation, yoga, or simply quiet—a woman’s nervous system often feels caught in survival. Within our culture, we’re conditioned for personal rituals to seem “trivial” or “unimportant” compared to the perceived urgency of the moment.

She might feel frazzled, driven, and on edge (a sympathetic response).

Or, overwhelmed, shut down, and unable to begin (a dorsal response).

Our perceptive bodies and souls are attuned to the field of collective dysregulation we’re living in.

And yet… some other intelligence within us keeps drawing us back toward something deeper, more primordial.

What we as women tend to need (& what we truly thrive with) are reminders & permission to come back into ourselves, and to know that other women are doing the same. 

Over the past few days, as I shared the Room to Breathe playlist, messages began arriving from so many of you—again and again saying it came exactly when it was needed.

“It feels good to my heart to be connected right now, and your email just met my need for affirmation and community as we walk through these times.” ← I found myself writing that line back, realizing how true it felt in my own body.

For years, I’ve been “working” on receptivity (though I’m not sure one really works on that—is it more like dissembling the bricks of protection I’ve placed around me?).

And yet, right now, I feel myself truly receiving the joy of being in this community.

One particular message caught my heart:

Women, we have hearts that hold it all.

Beauty, grief, tenderness, power.

When the outer world is loud, what helps you stay in yourself (and walk onwards)?

Wildflowers began as an experiment last year asking myself one simple question: What would happen if I truly prioritized my inner life?  

Over time, I’ve found three essential supports for stability in my woman’s body:

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1) A do-less practice
For a daily place to land when I want simplicity and have little energy, I return to a short guided MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) meditation—The Lake Meditation.

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2) Attuning to mythic time
Opening to a deeper rhythm reminds us that our lives are woven into larger cycles of meaning, beyond the immediacy of today. Two of my favorites when I need a dose of inspiration:

• Leah Whitehorse Astrology (daily reflections)
• The Rumi Oracle by Alana Fairchild (deck or app)

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3) Connection
We co-regulate in the presence of those who can hold warm, steady witness and together create the foundation for a new, emergent reality. A beautiful book to open up more of this in your life is one I keep next to my bed—Deb Dana’s Anchored (which has just been released in French, giving me an opportunity to brush up on my language skills ;) ).

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When I remember that resourced women are our best resource, it becomes much easier to soften into the truth that my wellbeing matters. We need women like this, and women need this, I remind myself.

In the weeks ahead, I invite you to be especially gentle with yourself.

That’s enough. 💓

—Shari xx

P.S. If you haven’t listened yet, the Room to Breathe playlist is still there for you as a small offering for your nervous system. Share it with a friend, put it on shuffle, let it accompany you on a walk or a pause to receive. 🎶